Stories Plus

This week was a difficult one for me. It started off going really well. I felt great and I was getting myself on track with the new routine! Then, on Tuesday, I received the news that I had lost a friend to cancer. I’ve spent most of this week feeling low energy and lethargic, even taking Wednesday off. I’ve been doing what I can to get myself back into a better headspace and move through this grief.

I decided to start talking to more of my friends, asking them if they’d like to play a game with me or something. I spent three days this week playing Repo with different friends. It’s done a great job of making me feel more connected with my friends. As much as I want to continue doing art and other creative projects, it’s nice to just relax and do something mindless. I don’t really want to think, but I need to keep my hands busy. I’ve also just gotten a lot of good laughs. Today one of the doors I tried to close fell off its hinges and then flipped upside down and stood up against the other side of the door frame. This happened when I was the only one alive so I was laughing and asking if anyone else had seen it, knowing I couldn’t get a response.

Luckily, there was a DND game this weekend! On Friday, I was able to hang out with most of the group. I started out the session trying to fight off a manic episode that had started in my driveway. Luckily, I managed to mellow out shortly after we started. I kind of just played video games during the session and I still managed to solve the mystery. We were in a haunted library where we introduced one of the new player’s character into the story! Most of the campaign everyone was dodging the ghost’s attacks and trying to find a way out of the library since the doors were locked, but I decided to keep pushing to solve the mystery itself. As it turned out, the ghost’s husband, the found of the library, had taken credit for all of her hard work and refused to listen to her advice so she grew to resent him. We managed to contact the ghost and after destroying the statue of her husband, we were able to sort of befriend the ghost and allowed to come back to the abandoned library whenever we wanted.

I’m still struggling in general. My mental state isn’t the best. I haven’t been posting art videos since Tuesday or even making art. The only reason I’m able to keep up with the blog right now is because I have most of my posts scheduled a week in advance, though I’m running low on scheduled pieces. It’s going to take time to heal and get better, but I am starting to feel better in some ways. My progress is slow right now, but I’m fighting to care for myself. I’m forcing myself to eat and and shower. I’m trying to take control over my sleep schedule again. It’s difficult, but doable. I have my friends to help me and I really appreciate everything everyone has been doing. I will get through this. It’s going to take time, but I will get through.