Growing up, I wanted the same as most kids, I wanted to make my parents proud of me. In high school and my one year of college, I really struggled and it felt as if no matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t enough. It wasn’t until I moved out that I was able to find my own way and heal from everything that went wrong in my educational life. After moving out, I realized, I had to let go of the idea of making them proud of me. They’re my parents, they love me, but if I’m always trying to succeed for them, I’ll never truly feel accomplished without their praise. It took me a while to let go of that idea and mourn over the fact that I may never get that from them, but I’m glad I did.
It took a lot for me to get to where I am today. I needed to fight my depression and get into a better head space before I could start achieving my dreams. Once I did that and accepted who I was, I was able to rekindle my relationship with my mother! We’ve grown a lot since then and I was able to come out to her and tell her my suspicions about my OCD and autism! She ended up affirming my beliefs by thinking back to when I was a kid when I showed more signs! Nowadays, my mother even reminds me of how proud she is that I’m finding my own way and accomplishing my dreams! We sat down one day for brunch after I moved out and she asked me simply if I was happy. That’s all she needed to know. We’re a lot closer now than we have been in years and I can see her improving some as well as she learns and understand the neurodivergent community and why I was so different!
My father is a different story. I love him and I know he loves me, but we still don’t always see eye to eye. My father still believes education and a “real” job with benefits is the key to a happy successful life. I’ve had a few moments where I’ve had to put my foot down and tell him that I’m perfectly happy where I am and I’d like to keep growing and following my dreams and passions! At this point in my life, my future is between me and my future wife and we already have plans! I don’t want to fight my dad and I don’t want to try to change his mind anymore because I know that won’t lead anywhere. Right now, we have a cordial relationship and I think that’s all we need. I’ve grown and changed a lot since I moved out and I’m allowed to be my own adult. I’m happy with where I am, and that’s all that matters.
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